Image credit: Yewande Okuleye 2021. Do not reproduce without permission
Dr Yewande Okuleye, a member of the Black health and the humanities network and recently appointed fellow of the Royal Historical Society, has written a poem which responds to the themes we explored during workshop one.
Yewande’s poem speaks to the experience associated with researching race as a racialised academic. It is a reflection which highlights the difficulty of conducting research about race and reflects on the need for racialised researchers to find ways to practice self-care and to manage stress and trauma. Breathing is offered as an empowering first aid technique to self soothe, before turning to informal or formal networks.
radical
self-care
manifesto
racialised as black
while
researching
race
the past
is always
present
stamped
in black
always
redacted
as each text
leaps off the page
assaults our senses
because of our heritage
nervous systems
snarl
immune systems
groan
jagged
what a burden
what a joy
from the margins
to the front line
holding the line
we go round
and round
in circles
missing the centre
like a
tipsy spirograph
trying to
walk a straight line
yet we carry the load
till we become
the load
hypnotised
I dream of doing my best
as I collect my thoughts
in cupped hands
- bullet point
everything is the same
while nothing is the same
they say something is always missing
they make us seem hollow
they make us seem flat
although we are black as black
selective sight
makes them blind as bats
as they weave spells of
beautiful white spots
attempted erasure
can never bring closure
- Indefinitely
weight we matter
because we are moved to
<>in tern<>
<>in ter po late<>
<>in ter ca la tion<>
<>in ter ca la tor<>
<>in ter lo cu tor<>
pause
after the storm
I taste sweet san. CT. U. ary
pause
earth rests
scan
time re sets
scan
time to sit
ischial tuberosity has such a lovely ring doesn’t it
sit bones
find there
fingerprints
in the snow
erect
serene
senile
still life dead
we breath in:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
– six—-five-four———–three-two–one
…………………………………and hold
observe molecules of self-love
shimmer and sway through your lungs
we breath out::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
– six-five-four————–three-two-one
behold
be bold
feel
the
rhythmic
joy
as
nano
mists
of
epigenetic racial trauma
and pain
uncoils
through
time
today
Enter the Center of Afrocentric Wellness
Iwaju
here we are revitalised * I am still
here we are refreshed * I am so grateful
here we breathe with ease* I am not hateful
here we are (re)humanised
we seal radical
we ooze self-care
we manifest manifesto
Ase
©Yewande Okuleye 2021